I don't make new year's resolutions. I don't have a problem with people who do - I mean, whatever works for you, y'know? But it's just not for me. I won't ever change just because it's a new year. I have to have a bigger wake-up call, and then I just start the wheels in motion for the change I want to effect.

However, due to other circumstances, so far this year I've had lots of reason to take a look at my judgmental nature. Jeremy, ever the loving diplomat, says, "Yeah, you're pretty 'black and white', but you're usually pretty fair, as well." *smile* Well, he's biased and I want to be a better person.

I think maybe today I got a little bigger wake-up call. Nothing major .. just a little tap on the shoulder, reminding me not to jump to too many conclusions.

We went out for breakfast and then decided to drive up to Topaz Lake just to look at the scenery. It was the only part of the sky that had any blue.

In weather and with road conditions like this, you find that drivers run the gamut from those that are overly-cautious to those that drive like maniacs with no clue what it's like to try to stop on ice. For the last 2 days while we were driving around, I've been commenting on the people who felt the need to pass me in dangerous conditions, etc. We've watched people fishtail and spin, seen people in ditches. More than once I've commented on the "idiots" out there driving what I considered to be too fast for the conditions.

Well, meet one of the idiots.

About 2-3 miles out of town, we were driving along with no problems. There was some slushy stuff and you couldn't see the asphalt, but the roads didn't seem bad, really. There wasn't a curve in the road, no need to brake - nothing. We were just driving. All of a sudden, a little fishtailing and next thing I know we were heading into a spin, and also into the opposing lane of traffic. Luckily I know better than to hit the brakes, and I also to try to steer into the spin, if possible.


I was able to keep us out of a spin, but unable to keep us on the road. Thank goodness there was no oncoming traffic. We went across the road and into the ditch. As you can see by the pic on the right, we stopped just short of the fenceline. And yes, that bent-over roadside reflector was courtesy of our front bumper. We were lucky in a lot of ways. When I stopped shaking enough to feel like I could try to get out, with the help of Jeremy and 4WD low, we did indeed make it out. We backed right back out the way we'd come, got back on the road and pulled off on the next available road so that I could let my heart calm down a little and work on that shaking hands thing. We scrapped the idea of driving to Topaz (I'd have been a nervous wreck) and turned back around to head home (stopping briefly, of course, so I could take a couple pics).

We made our way home, slowly. :)

When we got here I took a quick closeup pic of the icicles before they completely disappeared, and now I think I'm going to do something safe like bake cookies or something. I think I should at least be able to do that without judging anyone else but me and my cookie-baking skills.

After work today I went to the gym. While there, I caught Nancy Grace on CNN. I was far from the tv, so I didn't get much of it (also had headphones on), but what I got out of it made me so angry I had to just stop looking. I made a mental note to research the story tonight, and the whole time at the gym I just kept thinking about 8 years.

8 years. When you think about what happens in 8 years, it can go either way: Either it can seem like a lifetime, or it can seem like a split second. I guess it's fairly relative. I can tell you this, however: 8 years is not enough.

8 years is the maximum amount of time this man, Michael Gagnon of Adrian, Michigan, will spend in prison for every person he killed when he drunkenly ran his truck into a minivan on December 30.





8 years for Haley Burkman (top left), age 10. 8 years for Jordan Griffin (top right), also age 10. 8 years for Bethany Griffin (mom, lower right), age 36 .. same age as me. 8 years for Lacie Burkman (lower left), age 7. And 8 years for Vadie Griffin, just 8 weeks old. And that is the maximum. The minimum is 2 years. Can you imagine? He may spend just 10 years in prison for devastating these families and obliterating half the members. There are so many things that astound me about this entire event.

Here are the facts in a Reader's Digest form from the articles I've read:

Michael Gagnon was partying with his family at a hotel (there is some discrepancy here, saying that he may have been at Rodeo Bar & Grill next door. The staff at that bar declined to comment), when he left, supposedly without telling anyone, in a Ford F-250 with a blood alcohol level of .254 (legal limit is .08).

At 10:47 p.m., a Taco Bell employee called 911 to tell them of a drunk driver in their drive-thru lane, asking them to please come stop him or pick him up.

The police didn't get there in time.

At 10:52 p.m. police recieved their first of three phone calls about a drunk driver going the wrong way (driving into oncoming traffic on the freeway).

At 10:55 p.m. Danny Griffin, Jr., driving a minivan full of family, came around a corner on the highway and tried to avoid the drunken missile traveling 60 mph straight for him, but was unable to. Michael Gagnon's truck ripped the side off the minivan and sent children flying.

A family of 8 now in one horrifying instant reduced to 3.

Gagnon's brother (whose truck he was driving) was quoted as saying, "Everyone's in shock. We're supposed to be celebrating the New Year, but now I got to look forward to my brother in jail the rest of his life."

Umm .. yeah. That's what you "got to look forward to" .. but not quite for the rest of his life. At maximum, 40 years. And believe me, in my opinion, that's nowhere near enough.

Another quote from the Toledo Blade, "Chief Spann said Mr. Gagnon was aware the accident caused the deaths, and was uncooperative and belligerent when he spoke with investigators." Now, I've been drunk. In college it was almost a ritual. But I guarantee you if I was ever drunk and someone told me I just killed 5 people, no matter how drunk I was, I'd sober up enough to not be uncooperative and belligerent.

I am a proponent of capital punishment. I argued on the "pro" team in college debate. In my opinion, the death penalty would be too kind for someone like this. I'm not 100% sure what I would want to see happen. Perhaps life in a really crappy prison (ie - no Krispy Kreme for breakfast and no tv priveleges and no "getting your degree while in prison") with daily prison transport to places where he could spend his entire life taking care of people who have been incapacitated by drunk drivers. I really don't know. I feel like perhaps a lifetime of caring for people whose lives were ruined by people like him, a lifetime of remembering, day in and day out, what he did ... yeah, that might just help him learn a lesson for his next life. Maybe.

I know it's a controversial topic. I know a lot of people will disagree and think I'm cruel. But I guarantee you, if this guy had plowed into Jeremy, with my dogs in the car, I would want to kill him with my bare hands. How about you? Your kids? Your spouse? Your loved ones just trying to return home after spending a warm and wonderful holiday with you?

I am beyond words for how disgusted I am by this man and his family's public response so far. Should I feel sympathy for him and for them? Maybe, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Should I consider that poor Michael has a disease (alcoholism) that made him do this? Too bad. If your disease kills YOU, I may have sympathy. When it kills 5 innocent people, sorry. No sympathy to be found here.

If you want to know more about the facts surrounding this, just go ahead and do a search on the Internet .. there are dozens, if not hundreds, of sites already, spanning from "only the facts" to "I wish the bastard a slow and painful death." Take your pick.

Bottom line I guess I wanted to share: Hug your family especially tight tonight. Make sure your kids know what can happen if they drink and drive. Hope and pray that your teenagers who are just getting out there and driving are never met with a Michael Gagnon of their own. My most sincere condolences and warmest thoughts go out to this family and everyone affected by this incredible senseless tragedy.

All day today it rained here in the valley and, I think, snowed in the mountains (couldn't tell because they were shrouded in clouds). I was so excited, looking forward to our first good winter snow, as I heard a rumor that we are supposed to get a couple inches here on the valley floor tomorrow, too!

After work I went to Pilates, then to the grocery store, and then headed towards Wasabi's to pick up dinner for Jeremy and me. U.S. 395 runs through our town, so it's a national highway, but of course the speed limit is lower due to it running through two concurrent towns. As I drove through town, excited for snow, but not enjoying driving at night in the rain (my astigmatism really wreaks havoc with me when driving at night, especially in wet conditions), my night got quintessentially worse when I came around a corner to find a rottweiler standing right in the middle of the road. There was no way I could stop in time. I stomped on the brakes but I heard the thud I so hoped wouldn't happen.

I slammed the car into park and threw the 4-way flashers on (yes, right there in the middle of my lane - there's construction right there, so no shoulder) and jumped out to look for the dog - my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. He had walked down an alley about halfway along a building and was crying. A guy came out of the back of the building, where he'd obviously been working late at a garage.

He scooped up his dog and I followed him, crying and shaking, to the garage to see if the dog was ok. He (I think it was a he) seemed ok all except for one hind leg whenever the guy tried to touch it. There was another guy there, and I kept apologizing. Well, at least that's all I remember. I was so upset. Those of you who know me know how much I love dogs - this about broke my heart. I offered to give them my phone number so I could help cover costs or something .. anything. They said no, that it wasn't my fault. Of course they, like so many people, blamed the dog by saying it shouldn't have been out in the road (later, upon retrospect, I think THEY should have made sure it wasn't in the road. The dog was just doing what dogs do .. checking out the surroundings). I was just so upset and helpless, after a minute I left. I didn't know what else to do.

I sobbed the entire way home. I went to Wasabi's to pick up dinner and almost called them from the parking lot to ask if they could bring the food out to me, but thought that's silly, I can suck it up long enough to get the food. I was wrong. By the time the bill came for me to sign, I was sobbing again. We order from there fairly often so they were really nice about it ... the lady said she definitely WOULD have come out to the parking lot! I love small towns.

Poor Jeremy, I walked in the door sobbing and holding our takeout.

I'll call the garage first thing in the morning to find out how the dog is doing, and hopefully be able to provide a happy update. I so hope that they took him to a vet right away. I can't imagine not doing that, but Jeremy says that some people, if they think the dog isn't really that hurt, won't take it in. I guess I'm really a worrywart, because if that happened to either of my dogs, they wouldn't even make it in the house before they were in the car on on their way – absolutely no question.

We talked about my thought of offering them some money. He doesn't seem to think it's a great idea, and I think that, after contemplating it, he's probably right. But he did say that if they decided it was too much trouble or expense to get the dog taken care of, we will pay for it. So basically, like the awesome boyfriend that he is, he's leaving it 100% up to me.

If you're one of those who talks to me via IM or in person, and you read this blog, hopefully you'll understand if I'm just a little "off" tomorrow. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed until I talk to them on the phone in the morning.

In his own words (or, rather, the words of his doctors), he "should be dead".

The picture above isn't his bike .. I just found it on the internet to help illustrate the blog post.

About 2 weeks ago, Steve was riding down a mountain at typical Steve speed of about 190 km/hr, when his left foot peg broke off his bike. He ran over his own left foot, has 24 broken bones, ribs broken in 17 places, and has some head trauma, as well. He was on morphine when I talked with him, so I didn't get too many details, and he doesn't even remember the accident (which is probably a blessing). This was apparently his first time out of bed when it wasn't for one of his 2-a-day hospital visits.

Those who know him, it might be nice to send him an email with your thoughts and wishes. I'm not 100% sure how he'd be about me giving out his e-mail addy (some people are kind of private about that stuff), so if you don't have his address and would like me to pass along a msg, no worries, just let me know .. I'll be happy to do so.

Just thought I'd pass along the info for all the Darkroom "old-timers" who might know/remember him.